Friday, September 16, 2011

will miss #27

you don't have to shovel sunshine.

Monday, September 5, 2011

things i've learned after having children

~if you childproof this..... they'll get into that.
~childproof locks only slow me down. give a 2 yr old 5 minutes and it's the latest fun game.
~the local fire dept/EMS takes 3 minutes to get to my house. yep, hot and fast. good to know.
~$1million worth of toys. the child wants the box. hell, my 4 yr old's current favorite toy is a chipclip. so, for Xmas buy yourself a big TV and wrap the box for the kid.
~it's almost impossible to get them up for school. but, otherwise, 5am is the perfect time. this rule doesn't count teens, then they will hibernate til you force them to wake up.
~eyerolling is an artform.
~a 2yr old thinks any dog is a small pony.
~if you hear the cat make any noise, frisk your kid.
~small spaces that fingers/heads/bodies could get stuck in are the challenge of a lifetime.
~that food was great last week, today it's gross.
~ceiling fans are for seeing who can fling the dirty sock the farthest.
~that you can have every game system, sports equipment and tons of toys. yet be "so bored".
~a child's backpack can outweigh them and the school thinks this is "not true". yeah, the bag weighs 3lbs less. my bad.
~dirty socks and underwear were made to be hidden.
~quiet to a 3yr old and quiet to an adult are different.
~the sound of a 4 yr old can make a dog/cat fit into any small "hidden" space.
~your food ALWAYS tastes better than theirs. yet, you're eating the same thing.
~the day a child turns 13 the word "pppssssssfffffttttttt" enters their vocab.
~if you need anything electronic fixed, give it to the kid.

last but not least.....